So, it's after midnight so now I can officially say, "I turned forty yesterday." I had this vision of how I wanted to spend my birthday. I wanted to reflect and relax. I don't think that really happened, but I have no one to blame, but myself. Under normal circumstances, I wouldn't consider myself to be a people pleaser, instead I would call myself a perfectionist. And that my friends has caused so many problems for me.
Last night, my eldest and I stayed up and cooked and cooked and cooked some more. We made roasted chicken, stewed chicken, sweet potato pie, and Amish sweet rolls. The pumpkin bread, and pumpkin bread pudding had been made the week before and frozen (Sometimes, I surprise even myself). My wonderful friend and neighbor, made us an apple pie, that saved me from having to do it (Thunder said it was "actually really good!") Eldest son made my friends Garlicky String Beans. Yum! And I roasted veggies.
As I was cooking Wednesday night/ Thursday morning, and catching up episodes on of 24, I realized I was severely tired. I just had these moments when I had fallen asleep and woken up while washing the dishes. I also felt my body falling as I was standing and trying to accomplish different tasks. To be completely honest, I've had a hard time getting back to a "normal" sleep pattern since Baby Z was born. And I had been up very late for the last few nights. I was experiencing what I would describe as severe symptoms of serious fatigue.
When I finally got in the bed, I had no idea what time it was. I just know that I was tired and the last thing I can remember was pulling the covers over my head. I had never felt such complete and utter fatigue before. It was unreal. I woke up at some point to hear my husband leaving to run an errand and Thunder and Princess E arguing about something. I knew it was my birthday and figured all the noise was about some project they were working on. I quickly corrected their behavior and rolled over, My words sounded like they had come from such a far way place and my limbs felt so heavy. I burrowed even deeper into the covers then.
A few minutes later, my husband returned, and shortly after that my birthday procession came up the stairs and woke me with the blend of five voices singing "Happy Birthday" to me. It was so sweet and as tired as I was, I had to remind myself to live in the moment. Over the last few years, this birthday processions and presentation of gifts had become somewhat of a tradition at my birthday and Mothers' Day. Note to all. I'm not really an early morning person. I get up, and it takes a lot to make me joy-filled in the morning since I'm not a coffee drinker.
To Be Continued . . . (Because I'm admitting that I'm fatigued right now.)
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